


of pretty smiles and empty hearts

by grey_king



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: F/F, KagePro AU, i'm wARNING Y'ALL, idk how to do tags, like angsty angst, real sad hours, tw: Mentions of Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-27
Updated: 2019-02-27
Packaged: 2019-11-06 13:04:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17940230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grey_king/pseuds/grey_king
Summary: sooyoung thinks she'll never forget.





	of pretty smiles and empty hearts

**Author's Note:**

> hi y'all! this is my first work here in ao3 so please be kind to me :'))  
> the story is highly based from a song from kagerou project, toumei answer (bcoz i miss kagepro)
> 
> also tw: mentions of suicide
> 
> so if you can't take it, please leave :((

 

 

 

if there was _one_ thing sooyoung really hated, it was exams. not because she doesn't study in particular (that is half true), but because it doesn't really make sense to her. for someone who has an IQ of 168, answers are very obvious and repeating the same questions again and again bores her.

 

so here she is, sitting in the same seat, having a staring contest at the answer sheet in her hand. mocking her with the perfect record once more. sooyoung sighs and drops the paper on her desk and proceeds to look outside.

 

she hears a chair scraping besides her, and gives off a poker face. kim jiwoo, the klutz, somewhat of an airhead and most definitely not the smartest one in the bunch. "aw, another failed test. i need to study harder!" the shorter girl exclaims, making sooyoung roll her eyes.

 

"how about you sooyoungie? i bet you got that perfect 100 again!" jiwoo grabs the test sheet from her desk with a wide grin, clapping her hands when she saw the taller girl's score. sooyoung just scoffs and sighs, muttering a soft, "yeah, again."

 

"well, i failed again... but what's new? although i got a higher score than the last time!" the latter scratches her head shyly, cracking a wry smile. she starts to fold her own paper and hands sooyoung back her own, giving life to another crane she dearly loves.

 

she reverts her attention back and gazes out the window again, jiwoo glancing at her from time to time as she makes her craft. the world is too predictable for her, it's kind of sad even if she doesn't care anymore. people are the same, the days just repeat again. there's nothing she can wish for because she already knows the answer.

 

"hey, if you keep thinking like that, it'll really be boring y'know?" the girl snaps her out of her thoughts, reaching out to give the finished paper crane with a brilliant smile. sooyoung takes the craft from jiwoo's hand, the corners of her mouth lifting in the slightest, making the latter grin even wider.

(she has always been this cheerful.)

 

  
=

 

  
sooyoung finds herself standing in the rooftop pondering, with her paper still on hand. she just doesn't want to talk with anyone over break, annoyed with the noises everyone makes inside their respective classroom. how can people have fun even on the most mundane things? how can they have fun on things that keep on repeating? how do they enjoy such days where nothing ever happens?

 

this world never provides her with answers, she find it herself. everything is disappointing with how predictable they are. it's not in anyway enjoyable anymore. and having no friends doesn't make it any better.

 

she grits her teeth in anger and tears the sheet apart, letting it be blown away by the wind. the bell rings as if whispering to her, _'you're nothing but a cold-hearted fool.'_ and she grips the railings even tighter. sooyoung sighs sadly and closes her eyes.

 

_"even if i died today, someone else would replace me."_

 

such foolish words to be uttered. and she looks back with slight shock as a red scarf wraps around her neck. "is what sooyoungie would always say but i'd always disagree to that."

 

(she forgets being lonely every time jiwoo smiles and looks at her like she means the world.)

 

  
=

  
even if the days do repeat, whenever the space besides her is left empty, she feels _uneasy_. jiwoo being absent is uncomforting and she bites her lip in worry to the smaller girl. she wills herself to look away from the empty desk, glancing at the board for one time and starts to write another set of notes.

 

anyways, if her test scores arrive tomorrow it won't get better anyway.

 

  
=

 

  
sooyoung is an apathetic person. she really doesn't show much of her emotions around anybody, nor does express them or even try to sympathize with anyone else.

 

so seeing jiwoo, crying after class hours alone on her desk strikes fear in her heart. and the fact that she feels fear also scares her. it fucking scared her.

 

and now here she is, watching the latter from the small crack of the door, sobbing on her seat, shaking as she holds on a different piece of paper that sooyoung could barely make out. she trembles and tries to reach out, wanting to somehow help jiwoo with whatever pain she feels. but she stops. she stops when her hand was already on the door and runs. runs away because of the fear of not knowing what to do.

 

(a coward is what she is and she'll _never_ forgive herself because of that. never.)

 

  
=

 

  
amidst all those fleeting day, there must have been a change. a big and _terrifying_ one. jiwoo just stopped coming altogether. it's been a week and sooyoung was scared. and seeing flowers on the shorter girl's desk today confirmed all her terrible thoughts and predictions. upperclassmen that were jiwoo's friends, sobbing beside it makes her stomach turn and she feels like throwing up what she ate for breakfast.

 

it disgusted her, the other people there who pretended to mourn for jiwoo, when in fact, most of them probably already forgot what shade of auburn her hair was. they might've already forgotten how brilliant her smile was. those people who only knew jiwoo as the klutzy, stupid student.

 

she looks back to the window beside jiwoo's desk, will anything ever reflect it anymore? even if she tried to understand, those words just pass her by. and no matter how much she wanted to know jiwoo, she never solved anything at all.

 

(for the first time in her life, sooyoung _cries_ out and wishes to the universe for answers.)

 

  
=

 

  
with the paper crane at hand, she runs as fast as her legs could take her, running to the rooftop where jiwoo always finds her. she always, _always_ finds her when she's lost in her own thoughts.

 

"if i... if i tried to get a _little_ closer to you..." she breaks down, hard, heart-wrenching sobs slips out from her mouth as she kneels in front of the railing in despair, frustration and tiredness. maybe if she did get closer somehow, she could've found the answer. she would still have jiwoo. and these days would have never have to end. these mundane days with her can continue forever.

 

the ringing snaps her out of her thoughts and also brings her to the reality that everything, everything she held dear was _gone_.

 

her heart that wanted to just disappear had the audacity to hurt, realizing that whatever happens, no matter what happens, jiwoo _hides_ and _hides_ and _hides_ everything behind her smile. as if being sad was her only secret.

 

she stares at the crane in her hand, her tears threatening to fall once more. but not before she sees it. just by the ledge it stood all _alone_. the pieces sooyoung ripped apart was taped back in the most careful way possible, folded and creased with much preciseness, as if it was a gift before being left behind.

 

 

  
sooyoung thinks she'll never be able to forget jiwoo's smile. not even tomorrow.

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> oof so uhhh anybody needs tissues?
> 
> say hi or rant on me in twitter :DD  
> @brokeSCONE


End file.
